


Mama, I'm in love with a civilian

by drachoemaloy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Comfort, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Police Officer Steve Rogers, Serial Killer Tony Stark, Writer Bucky Barnes, all the feelings, but no details about said killings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:41:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28594146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drachoemaloy/pseuds/drachoemaloy
Summary: “I know that, Tony,” Bucky stood to meet him halfway, “I know it’s nothing like finding out that you like gherkins-”“They are a fundamental component of the American cheeseburger,” Tony smiled at the familiar argument.*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Bucky finds Tony. He's surprisingly okay with Tony's "hobby".
Relationships: Implied pre James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Kudos: 71





	Mama, I'm in love with a civilian

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [you must stop lingering in deathbeds](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20230378) by [deathsweetqueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathsweetqueen/pseuds/deathsweetqueen). 



> This is supossed to be set after "you must stop lingering in deathbeds" but like Tony is less Tony in this; Bucky being a writer is hardly mentioned even though it remains true; and I'm sure there's other things where I've missed the mark. Basically go and read that and marvel at how good and funny and shameless it is and then ignore how I've changed the charatcterisation of the boys because I just wanted a soft ending where they were together. 
> 
> (If I wrote this again I would have Bucky find Tony because nothing got him going like Tony talking about ways to kill people but that's for an alternate universe me to do)

It was Bucky who found him first. Tony knew it would be. No, that wasn’t quite right. He knew that if either of them even wanted to look for him, Bucky would be the one to actually locate him. He would’ve made a joke about the potency of the police force, but Tony knew how smart Steve was. He hated that he also knew why it wasn’t Steve pretending to be comfortable in his recliner. Steve had an obligation to the police – Tony never wanted to prioritise himself over Steve’s career.

Besides, Bucky was a writer. He knew how Tony thought.

“Hello,” Tony greeted the man as he walked through the door, as if there was nothing odd about the situation they found themselves in. Bucky didn’t say anything. He just watched Tony chuck the keys into their designated pot and shrug off his coat. “Do I need to be concerned about why you’re here?” 

“Said the serial killer to the civilian,” Bucky mused and Tony couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face.

“Did you tell Steve?” Tony had to ask. He didn’t like that he had to ask and he hated that Bucky knew he had to ask, but he had to ask nonetheless.

“Like I have brunch with your ex every weekend.” Bucky raised an eyebrow. Fuck, Tony had missed him.

“How did you find me?” Tony asked instead of rushing over to straddle Bucky’s thighs like he really, really wanted to. And wasn’t that an intriguing thought, enough so that Tony nearly missed Bucky’s grimace.

“I- you mentioned Cali once when… I didn’t want to be right but, here we are.” Bucky made a vague gesture with his hand to the room.

“Here we are,” Tony confirmed, “am I allowed to ask why you came? Why now?” Tony moved to lean against the doorframe. Reading Bucky was almost too easy for Tony and, sensing Bucky wasn’t relaxing, not that Tony blamed him, he attempted to act more casual, hoping Bucky would pick up on it and lose some of the stress that was so obvious in his shoulders.

“I don’t know,” Bucky admitted, “I guess I missed you. I thought I’d be able to move on, you know. Find a nice guy or gal, go on a few dates, maybe even make it official. I mean I should’ve, right? Since my standards had just changed to anyone who doesn’t kill people for fun.” Tony fought back the wince. He was sure Bucky saw it, anyway, from the way he was watching him. Bucky paused for a second before rubbing a hand over his face. “I missed you being around. It didn’t feel right with all your stuff around my apartment and you not being there too.” 

Tony went to move closer, somehow, anyhow, but the agonised look Bucky sent him stopped him in his tracks. “Why do you do it, Tony?” 

Tony closed his eyes and mourned the fact that a few months ago, Bucky would never let his name fall from his lips, instead preferring a nickname that made Tony feel warm and loved inside. Bucky was still giving him the same look when he opened his eyes back up and, Tony was only human; he took sympathy on the man.

“Dating a police officer,” Tony started, his lips suddenly feeling dry, “it makes you realise how useless the law enforcement is. And I know there are good people that work for the justice system – people aren’t inherently bad – and they care about the law and genuinely believe that it can help people. But when a system is that flawed- I know what I do is wrong from a survival and an ethical point of view, but nothing I do can be as bad as all those people put together.”

“So you see yourself as some kind of vigilante?” Bucky scoffed. 

Tony narrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t have to justify myself to you,” He said as he watched Bucky shake his head and look away to the side, placing a hand over his mouth. Tony wasn’t a stranger to the gesture, and it never failed to make him feel ashamed. “You don’t like that I said that,” Tony stated, glancing at his feet.

“I want you to feel like you have to, Tony. I should be someone you want to try and convince.” Tony looked up at him through his lashes. “This was stupid,” Bucky muttered to himself before shifting to stand up.

“If I could convince you, I would,” Tony protested pushing off of the doorframe, “But, Bucky, this isn’t something you learn to accept overnight.”

“I know that, Tony,” Bucky stood to meet him halfway, “I know it’s nothing like finding out that you like gherkins-”

“They are a fundamental component of the American cheeseburger,” Tony smiled at the familiar argument.

“And you’re gonna have to give me time to get used to it, but I’m willing to listen if you’ll just explain it to me.” Bucky reached out to grab Tony’s hands that had been resting by his sides, “You need to help me understand, dollface, because I’ve gone these last moths without you and, while I don’t get _this_ , I’d rather be with you, knowing that you spend your free time taking people’s lives, than not being with you at all.” Bucky led their connected hands to they were resting on his shoulders. “Because I’m selfish,” he removed his hands from under Tony’s to wrap them around the smaller man’s waist, “and I’d rather those people die than my not being able to hold you like this kills me anymore.”

Tony’s breath caught in his throat. Bucky had always had a way with words but, Tony never considered he would use that sweet talker for this. Hesitating slightly, Tony placed his head on Bucky’s chest, soaking up the comfort it’s familiarity caused.

“You don’t mean that. You _can’t_ mean that.” Despite using the words as an attempt to put some distance between them, Tony clutched onto Bucky’s shoulders.

“I think I do.” Bucky reciprocated the movement by squeezing Tony’s waist.

Tony sighed before pushing his head off of Bucky’s chest. “You have to be sure Buck, because if I tell you and you freak out and run off… I’ll have to protect myself, you know I will.”

Tony pretended not to see Bucky swallow. After a few seconds of just staring at each other, Tony tried to push himself away. The silence was all the answer he needed. Bucky didn’t let him, though, pushing his hips closer, instead. Tony opened his mouth to say something, probably a gentle protest, but closed it when Bucky started to speak.

“If you stay,” Bucky took a breath and nodded as if he was consoling himself, “I can stay.” Tony could tell Bucky wasn’t lying, because Bucky genuinely believed what he was saying. Tony hated that he couldn’t agree. It would have been better if Bucky was lying. 

“Don’t… don’t say that, please,” Tony begged, sliding his hands down Bucky’s arms.

“Why?” Bucky asked, lifting one of his hands to run his thumb over Tony’s cheek. Tony took a shuddering breath, feeling a lump rise in his throat. He wasn’t going to cry. Tony had lost that ability a long time ago, but the emotions were still there. Everything he wanted was literally in his arms, yet he couldn’t take it.

“Because in a day, or a week, or a year, when you decide that I’ve killed one too many people and can’t deal with it anymore… it wouldn’t be fair for either of us to go into that,” Tony rushed to explain, feeling himself shaking. 

“Tony, sugar, you’ve already killed one too many people. We’ve gone way past that point. It may sound crazy, but I still want you. You just gotta believe me.” At this point, Bucky’s whole hand was cupping Tony’s face, and he wiped a finger under Tony’s eye, drying unshed tears. 

Tony sniffed. “You wanna order pizza?”

“Hawaiian?” Bucky teased, smiling down at him. 

Tony made a face and stuck his tongue out. “No, you heathen,” he scolded, and Bucky let out a laugh, shaking Tony in his arms.

Tony couldn’t help the smile that found its way across his own face. When they sobered up a little, Tony cupped Bucky’s face making them lock eyes.

“You’ve got to promise me.” He trusted Bucky knew what he meant.

“I will, I do. I don’t think at this point there’s much you could tell me that would put me off.” Bucky leaned down to press a kiss to Tony’s head, and Tony let him, releasing the tension in his arms.

“Oh I’m sure we could find something,” Tony joked as Bucky let go of him to grab the nearest phone, probably to order the pizza.

“Like the fact you also love Steve?” Tony felt his eyes widen as he gaped at Bucky, who looked over his shoulder to chuckle at Tony’s expression. “It’s okay sweet thing, we can get onto that later, after discussing your hobbies. Now, do you want chicken wings? They’re doing a deal with chicken wings.”

Tony didn’t remember if he closed his mouth at any point, he just continued to watch the most incredible man in the world pick chocolate ice cream over cookie dough (heathen), while thanking Hades (because it was most likely Hades) that he got to keep him.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if you can even order ice cream with pizza in America, although I would be surprised if you couldn't. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this little idea I was playing aorund with. Again, I know I didn't do deathsweetqueen's story justice at all, so I'm sorry, but I had fun writing it and that's all that matters.
> 
> Kudos = love


End file.
